poem

written sept. 19, 2006
a poem about false identity


Driving the other day
I lost my way
It hurt to tell
Rejection laid
In my hands
It stayed

The lies she spoke
Was truth disturbed
[I couldn't believe me
Deception decieved me]
So I said hi
Please come and stay
And have your way

I saw her in the mirror
Her refelection was a real life tear
She seemed so real
The way she made me feel...

...Empty and distraught
I despised her every thought
It was then her letter was found
I had to brace myself on solid ground

As I was driving today
I found my way
In his heart
Laid mine in whole
And truth was told


"[Our] original shimmering self gets buried so deep we hardly live out of it at all... rather, we learn to live out of all the other selves which we are constantly putting on and taking off like coats and hats against the worlds weather."
-Frederick Buechner

can't sleep

Hello. Its been a while. I can't sleep either. Thinking about life and what it may bring. Will it bring all that I desire? Or will it bring more? Who am I that I may be used by God in His plan? I feel really close to God right now. I feel his touch in an intimate way. Why? I've been seeking Him. I've made an attempt to put aside my selfish gain and selfish thoughts and I have tried to discover what it is that God wants of me, not what He can bring me to make me happy. I'm not going to lie its hard. I'm lazy. I dont want to be. I want to know God more. I have some decisions to make and I'm not sure which one. Please pray for me that I may find some answers. Where are you, and where are you headed? Are you seeking God? Are you letting Him in? Please do, it is rewarding. We should do coffee sometime and pray and discuss what God is doing in our lives. There is so much more to the glory of God than what we can see or comprehend. Be thankful and content in every circumstance. Sleep time, i'm tired.

sweet dreams