life satisfied

Lived a life of favor
I do not understand pain
I hurt because you hurt
But I’m blinded without gain
All the sorrow you hide
I wish to clear away
Wisdom is on my toungue
And it speaks a better way
I know Him who knows you
Who knows pain
And who wishes to show you
Love that ever stays
Never leaves
Nor forsakes
It grows
And never faints
Now choose life
And you will gain healing
And life satisfied

A reminder to girls "My love"

written fall 2004














My love is not easily won
Nor my love easily pursued
I am not a fast catch
Nor an easy target
I will hold on to who I am
Until my Father hands me over
I am a rare find
And a beauty to be fought for
To be fought for with wisdom
And clothed with a pure heart
Do not be a fool
And be guided by feeling
Feeling is a snare to truth
And I will not look upon you

Update

So I got back from Alaska July 28. Delia and I had quite the adventure to say the least. When Delia picked me up from the airport in Calgary we were driving down the highway and somehow her axle snapped!!! Her entire wheel went complete sideways and we went crashing into the ditch. Its amazing the car didn't roll. Neither of us were hurt, but Delia's car is now unuasble.

On my flight home from Calgary to Saskatoon, my sister decided to suprise me on her way home from Vancouver so we got to fly home together which was cool. We both got home, and my parents left less than 24 hours later to go to the lake for 3 weeks, they really love us i'm sure of it.

My sister and I both got a job serving at Moxie's, so as soon as I got home I started training and as well finishing up at my other job at the sheraton. So the fisrt 2 weeks being home I was bombarded with work! I made it though. Moxie's is really cool, kind of insane though, almost too busy.

Josie got married saturday and it was absolutely beautiful, SHE was absolutely beautiful. I will post pictures when they get them back. I still can't believe she's married. She is 5 days younger than me and I am no where near ready to get married. It was a real fun experience. I was maid of honor and had a blast.

Thats the update on my life. I still don't know what I'm doing with my life. I have a few ideas but I'm not saying anything for sure unless I know for sure.

reflection

Moments alone in my bedroom reflecting life, my life. It's in these moments alone I am more aware of my surroundings, my heart, my dreams, my weaknesses. Ever since I can remember I have been chasing after satisfaction in fear that if I do not grasp it and take control I may be rejected and dismissed as unlovely and unmysterious. Yet the more I chase the more unlovely and unmysterious I become anyway. I desire love and acceptance but accepting it is unnattainable. People flirt with the surface of my being but no one dares to come close. Is it because I have walls that say back off or is it because they themselves have walls? Possibly both.

I am humbled once again at the foot of the cross because I know I cannot do this any longer, I cannot chase after the wind and succeed on my own account. I must chase HIS heart, then eventually mine can be healed.