Deeper

'i'm taking you deeper' are the words that i hear. why do i need to be broken in order to go deeper? i feel as though i might shatter with the next tear drop. this place seems familiar, like an old friend i need to see yet i do not wish to. its been a while yet somehow im comforted in the middle of brokeness. when there seems to be nothing else, thats when i know God is calling for me to listen. "be still and know that I am GOD."

Harley

my mind is filled with memories of once was. tears well up in my eyes as i remenisce my dog harley. a dog that was in my mind, Superdog. i never knew that the decision of putting her down would be one of the most difficult decisions i have had to make in my 19 years of living. some might find me silly for being so emotionally attatched to a dog; she was family nonetheless, i will miss her. some don't have family, and their only loved one is their dog. i thank God for giving me a family; though my dog ment alot to me, i have family and friends who mean so much more; though my heart is filled with sorrow, i have family and friends to lean on.

so as i'm writing i want to keep the memories of harley alive in my mind, because like anyone i have memories that are priceless. These are some of my famorite things about her

~when she would go on a rampage and run around the yard in some kind of frenzy with a crazy look on her face
~how she would spend hours trying to catch wasps and grasshoppers, and most of the times she was victorious
~when she would 'nibble' instead of bite
~ when people thought she was a ferocious dog, when really she was a wimp... it made me feel tough
~ when she would pretend to ignore me
~when we used to play hide and seek just me and her
~ when she tried to jump on the trampline, and just wobble
~ how she was so afraid to poop where people could see her
~how she seemed to find the warmest spot to just lay in either the fireplace or the sun... it reminded me of me
~how she didnt like vegetables
~ the only time she peed was right on my bed, when i tried breaking in and she got too scared
~ the first time we got her we put her in the storage room when we left the house and she freaked out and we came home and found that she had gotten into the flour and there were paw prints all over the door
~ the way she'd protect me when my dad pretended to hurt me
~ the one time she had stolen Ryans whole steak from his plate off the table when no one was around



if you have any memories of my puppy, please add. cause we all know she was THEE coolest dog.

breathless

a picture that says so much

Moments

Moments
A Moment If You Please
Moments Can Be Short
Moments Can Be Long
There Are Moments Of Joy
Moments Of Sorrow
Moments Of Passion
Moments You'll Never Forget
Moments Youve Already Forgotten
Moments You Didn't Get
There Are Awkward Moments
Senior Moments
Moments Of Truth
And Momentary Lapses In Judgment
People Who Ask For A Moment
Share A Moment
I Need A Moment
You Got A Moment?
Wait A Moment
You Can Take A Moment
Make A Moment
Spoil A Moment
And If All The Stars Line In The Right Moment, That Moment Can Be Perfect
Moments Can Define You
Moments Can Delight You
And Moments Can Change Your Life
Heres To The Moment
And Squeezing All You Can Out Of Every Last Single One Of Them

-lexus "moments" commercial

Lily of thought

so i got flowers last week, a stem of lily's; my favorite. one flower bloomed in a day and it was absolutely beautiful, and i waited in anticipation for the second to bloom. it still would not open even after a couple days. all of me wanted to tear it open, i knew so much hidden beauty was inside. what i discovered was that i, like many others long to be at our full bloom but it takes time and the proper nutrients and growth, and we're impatient. we are tender and we need care... and time. my second flower never bloomed, it died before it had a chance due to the coldness from the window.

i want to be the best, i'm not going to lie; but im not, im rather far from being perfect. however, i do know that i can grow, if i devote myself to falling in love with my Father.

sick dog

my dog is sick and i'm sad. she won't move unless shes forced and shes got a big hump on her back.i think i need a hug.

Spray of thoughts

A spray of thoughts
Cloud the open space
Of the mind that cannot comprehend
A ray of hope
Which has been long forgotten
Rescues thine heart
From countless masks worn
Trimming the line of truth and emotion
Trusting in the step of truth
I walk towards the door
That is greater than I

I plee to be wise
I plee to be bold
in the life I now live

Valentines Day

valentines day, a day of love and mystery and sometimes sorrow. either dissapointment or joy are what lie on the minds of many. growing up mailboxes and candy hearts were what made a kid happy. now older something sentimental is what we long for.

'hey i'm gonna pick you up 6, you should dress up' is what i got text to me yesterday after work. so i waited in anticipation for the moment to arrive. the broadway dinner theatre was where we ended up. i had my suspicion of where luke was taking me, and i ended up correct, but nonetheless the suprise was still special.

we seemed to be the youngest ones there. the place was decorated beautifully, and they had an array of food which included a chocolate buffet, can anyone say yummm? for a couple hours we were entertained by actors and actresses performing short skits and improv.

in the midst of the crowd we spotted a very strange couple, the man was close to 60 years in age and the girl was jus that... a girl, close to her 20's; lets just say it made me think.

the coolest part of the night happened at the end of one skit. they were performing a comedy/modern day act of romeo and juliet. the man "directing" romeo and juliet said he didn't like the ending of it, and told them to make a new ending, a happy one. so once again juliet lies dead on the ground; meanwhile the actual boyfriend of the girl who is acting juliet walks on stage with a single rose. he apologizes for interrupting and he helps her to her feet and goes down on one knee and porposes to juliet! it was fricken sweet.

satisfaction is what followed me the rest of the way.

held high

to dream to tell a dream; is unworded and unfound. to write in the sand and discover imperfection, is heart wrenching and gut splitting. to watch the stars and discover life lies only in the eyes of the beholder. life is what you make it. joy and sorrow may not meet if you choose not it be. my relationship with God is the choice of my heart to meet him in his sanctuary and to let my heart sing in his presence. i choose to laugh, i choose to sing, i choose to dance in the middle of the storm, that is what keeps the rythym of my heart. I choose to be moved when i see a child be held. i choose to skip and jump and climb instead of just walking. I choose to weep for those who cannot weep, but rejoice when they rejoice.

My first BLOG entry!

well, today i started a blog. i have rubbed alongside the ways and fads of today and decided to write my deepest most personal thoughts for everyone to see. what i am going to write, i have no idea. but i did decided not to use capital letters, to be somewhat unique. so hello world and welcome to my life.

today is kind of pretty outside, i haven't been outside at all but it looks nice. i'm slighlty bored, maybe that is why i decided to start a blog. life is on my mind, what will i do today, tomorrow the next day i don't know. it seems that many people are a bit bored with life. i long for alot and somehow i know it is more of God. cause honestly he is the only one who can fill that void. until i let down my pride and come to him, i'll be slothing around eating the next green leaf that comes my way. i am coming close however, picking up speed.

everyone seems to be getting married. fricken josie is getting married, i love that girl. i'm maid of honor which is so exciting. i also found out that jessica is getting married as well. both girls are a week apart in age to me. and yet i know im no where near ready to getting married. i use to think i was so ready, but i have come to realize there is alot i want to discover about myself and alot i need to grow. marriage was once an idol but now i'm patient in knowing God knows it all and he knows me better than i know myself, and he has a story that he is writing and it is and will be beautiful. i trust in him.